Winter’s Love

Light snow falls in softened greys

the king of winter in his shadowed halls

embraces his lover the downy sky

with cold arms reaching from afar

The sky presses his lips down in softness

each flake a gentle kiss laid upon

the king of winters bare earthen brow

of frozen ground and early darkness

The cold wind howls a mournful tune

a serenade of their solemn romance

sweetness in the arctic chill

a graceful love affair set in snowdrifts

The king of winter and his lover sky

the stormy sky and his lover winter

a blizzard of passion and utter silence

a timeless ardor of ice not flame

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Manic starving daydreams

The tight grip on my chest

making breathing laborious

accents the cold that seeps in past layers

cutting icy knives into my skin

its a manic high of being alive

the winter sun too bright

my bones to shallow beneath my skin

a cigarette breakfast for company

I remember those feelings wistfully

with full knowledge I shouldn’t

for I was lean grace and agony

starving away my flesh and soul

Some days I tiptoe back

towards that heady precipice

the sky rush of empty caverns inside

and dizzy days of fierce tortured accomplishment

Its hard to fight off the courtship

with death and self consumption

when you feel most alive when starving

the closer to death the more bright the colors

Each day a forced resolution

to find a healthier happiness

each day convincing the self

we won’t go back, we’ve chosen to live

 

When you’re gone

Your lips are a memory that lingers

Your fingers playing down my spine

My body responds even once you are gone

Your scent intermingled with mine

I have sweet manic dreams in bright colors

You’re not in them, but every last one

Has that energy you left behind when leaving

Your aura won’t be outdone

I savor the electric fantasies

Hungry for the knowledge of you

Your body, you mind, consume me and see me

This yearning threatens to break through

I’ll wait content with my hunger

As all my walls become dust

You inspire a fire that devours my fears

Connecting with love and with trust

 

 

Rage

Anger is fleeting

Rage is a constant companion

It simmers below the surface

A heavy friend through dark times

When a friendly officer

With a sideways grin

And vieled threats

Comes to the door

Rage offers comfort to shaking knees

It is the only companion

That allows you to speak with a strong voice

As your life hangs on a precipice

And you questions the safety of your family with each word

The rage lives for each life lost

For the ones who couldn’t breath

The ones shot on a playground

The names you never forget

It hides inside giving strength

As you speak over officer friendly with death on his lips

Not knowing what choices will keep you safe

And which will destroy more lives

The rage waits for the day you can fight

Instead of just bow to authority

And live another day

Global warming

Winter comes

With balmy gusts

Snow a distant memory

Ice caps melt

Well we’re fucked

Seasons shift make history

Warmer days

Herald the end

Of childhoods filled with snow

Without a change

The world will burn

From seeds the greedy sow

 

Today that is about all I have in me. It’s been an exciting lovely relaxing exuberant day in my personal life, but around me the government is shut down and those I love are scared of what this will mean for even surviving. I’m feeling some impending doom one way or another, and even fixing the current political fiasco won’t solve the long term problems we’re ignoring. So I wish I could bring some hope in a world that’s becoming more inhospitable by the day. Maybe it is just the good days, the personal triumphs and joys, that we have now that can guide us through. Spread any little good the lights your heart outward and use that brightness to set fire to those in power, we’ll build something better from the ashes.

Memories fading

I realized today I had forgotten your laugh

It was a whisper in my mind now

Once your most defining feature

I don’t remember if you laughed often towards the end

When we were stars exploding into black holes

 

I strained to think of our first kiss

Your lips on mine come easily

But the words you said has faded

They were once tattooed brightly across my heart

Life has worn away so many layers now

 

I long to remember the sound of your voice

Sweet whispers remain against my ear

The ones you never shared before

To macabre for the light of the world to reach

But tucked away safe in my memory

 

So much of you has become lessons now

Your touch and your kiss transformed

A reminder of a person I once was

A constant warning of what to never again become

A mercy cry to the future

 

The days you were my lover have set

And I made a dawn of what you taught me

Turned you from a lover to a teacher

Because using your memories up to fuel growth

Is the only future we’ll ever have

 

For my Kitten. I’ll always regret who I was for you.

Just to love you

You fall asleep fully clothed

A fabric wall between you and the rawness of a world that you can never show weakness

I lay next to you as naked as the window pane

With the raindrops tapping out a vulnerable song

You have a joke for every occasion

The smile never leaving your eyes or else pain will take its place

Except those rare times your eyes turn from blue to grey, winter coming far too fast

And I’m all raw vulnerability

Constantly asking your thoughts, wanting to hear reassurances that wouldn’t be certain even coming from a stable man

But I don’t need stability or naked vulnerability to love you

I love the winter storms in your eyes as much as the summer skies

The moments the mask you wear falls to the ground aren’t more precious because they are rare

They are precious because you allow me to witness them at all

And I’ve left behind all romantic fantasies of healing a wounded soul

I only want to love you as best as I know with every breath I have