I love new beginnings. Today is the first day of a new semester, and it has been a hectic day so far.
One of the cats recently had dental surgery and has been getting medication in the morning. The medication is finished, but he’s on soft food and needs to be fed separately, which means shutting him in the bathroom to feed him. Because he still expects me to catch him and give him meds, he gave me quite the run around when I was trying to corral him into the bathroom for feeding this morning.
The dogs were let out to run in the yard for a few hours, Dawson absolutely adores the snow and was bouncing around like a maniac. I went to break up the ice in their water bucket and fill it with fresh water. The only watering system that works for them is a large industrial bucket, chained to the kennel by two point. Bowls or dishes filled with water, or even less heavy buckets or ones not chained down, are two much fun for Dawson to toss around. He won’t do that with his food bowl of course, just anything filled with water…you know, the thing that needs to be always available. So, of course I broke the water bucket when trying to get the ice out. It has a nice crack in the bottom and some of the rim shattered off. I should have remembered that would happen, this isn’t my first winter, but instead of bringing it in to defrost and them dumping it, I tried to knock the ice out against the concrete. Now we need a new bucket. I found another that had a handle too thick to clip onto the chains to hold it down and filled it, hoping that since the other was immovable for so long, that he wouldn’t think to go back to his old habits of tossing them around. He’s my little monster though, so of course five minutes after I fill it I see him happily tossing a now-empty bucket around the yard. So we need a new bucket.
On a normal morning this all might have seemed tedious, but it’s the first day of a new semester.
I’ve been working on my pre-reading and homework for my nursing class. If I don’t get ahead, I’ll get behind, so I wanted to finish the homework for the next couple weeks before class started. We had gotten a preliminary copy of the syllabus, but the module assignments due didn’t actually match the online modules available. Some of the ones listed on the syllabus don’t seem to exist, and some of the ones online that seem relevant to the reading, were not on the syllabus. I figured it might be because it was just a preliminary copy, so when our online platform for the class opened up, I checked the new syllabus hoping for updates. Nope, it was the same. So, I fired off an email to the Professor hoping to clarify what actually needed completed and handed in. The online modules are constantly changing, and I imagine they don’t always update every single teacher who uses them, that they have been changed, so I’m guessing that is how that confusion happened. I could wait until class in person tomorrow to discuss it, but I’m hoping to possibly here back today so that I can work on it tonight after my first ceramics class.
Normally this would all be very frustrating and create a lot of anxiety, but this is the first day of a new semester.
I just can’t help but get excited at new beginnings. It’s like when it first snows, and you run outside and make the first footprints in the flawless blanket of white. I just love the wonder of a fresh start, the ability to do everything from a pristine organized standpoint. That feeling of having my shit together. And I don’t have my shit together, as you can clearly tell from my brief summary of the morning. But I feel like I do, because I took that fresh start energy and handled each problem with a wry grin and a laughing shake of the head. I did not let it pile on pressure and anxiety, I just took life’s curve balls, small ones that could easily overwhelm me on my anxious hot mess days, and I rolled with them and felt accomplished instead. I love to utilize that new beginning energy for as long as I possibly can. It is one of my own little life hacks, taking something I know that makes me feel good, and using it to circumvent the anxious low-spoon state of my every day life for as long as possible. If I get it right I can sometimes move fluidly from the fresh-start-I-can-do-anything feeling, to a wow-I-handled-shit-great-I-got-this feeling of success that keeps me on a forward trajectory even one the shiny newness has worn off. That is the goal, take the pre-made good feelings in life, whatever they may be for you, and build on them until you get enough momentum that it can carry you through the rough patches for as long as possible. Life won’t always feel this effortless, but I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
An Explosion of Rainbows 